This doesn't have to be a battle

Today I got the Knot 7 Month (!!!!!!) email, replete with exclamations and informing me of two very important things : (1) I need to book a rehearsal dinner this month, and (2) Apparently, picking a bridesmaids' dresses "doesn't have to be a battle with your bridesmaids."

Ooh, goodie! Because I was ready to take those biotches out like South Central in the 90's. Seriously, do people actually fight with their bridesmaids over the dress?

Perhaps I've been spoiled, because my ladies were ever-so-accommodating. They had preferences, sure, but they were very reasonable. They wanted a dress that wasn't too expensive, but wasn't cheap-looking/feeling, either and no one wanted to wear a terrible color.

Initially, my idea was to choose a designer, a color, and a length, and let the girls choose their own dresses. However, I hit a roadblock with color: very few manufacturers seemed to carry the dark purple I was seeking. And, a lot of the dresses I liked didn't come in the fabric that came in my color, and a lot of them just didn't have a variety of dresses or styles in that color. Arghhh. My girls had fun trying on gowns, but I was starting to get a little frustrated.

Then, I stumbled upon this little beauty:





Jasmine's B2 B3045 in Amethyst

Look at those beautiful pockets! And the rich purple! And the price! I was quoted about $125 per dress from the bridal shop. Awesome. I stopped at the shop with Groomy to check out the quality and color of the fabric, and FAIL. It was kind of...coarse, but not stiff. Pliant, but not soft. It caught on my fingers when I ran my hand over it, and the sheen made it look sort of peaked. Yes, the fabric looked sickly. I like to personify, so sue me...

Put nicely, it was not the best quality satin especially compared with comparably-priced dresses, like Bill Levkoff. Oh no, this dress would not do. Would you pay $125 plus alterations for a dress you didn't think was good quality? I wouldn't. So it was back to the drawing board and goodbye to my beautiful, modern, hip pockets. However, Groomy, believe it or not, had something up his sleeve, but I'll save that story for next time.

Did you have to let go of something you loved for the greater good?

The One With The Proposal

When entering the world of wedding websites, I was aiming for relative anonymity. Which is why, when I signed up to use the knot's extensive advertisements, ahem, services before we were officially engaged, I plugged in fake names for me and Groomy. For Groomy, the first name that came to mind was Chanandler Bong.



It's funny, I'm not even that big of a Friends fan, but you have to have been living under a rock during the 90's to have escaped that show.

Anyway, Groomy's knot moniker would serve to be rather omniscient, as I later learned. As you may recall, we had already set a wedding date prior to getting "officially" engaged. At this point, I could go on a tangent about what it means to be engaged (is it merely an intent to marry? Does the ring matter?), but let's focus here, people. We weren't engaged, per se.

We had shopped for rings, eyeballed stones, obsessed over settings, purchased wedding magazines, priced venues, and pondered photographers, but my left hand was empty. Needless to say, I was antsy. I knew it was coming, but I wanted it nooooooooooow. Yes, I'm a whiner. I know you're thinking it's a wonder I got anyone to marry me.

However, that Friday I wasn't whining. Secure in the knowledge that we'd be trotting down the aisle approximately one year and one week from then, I grabbed one of those unholy 300-page dress extravaganza magazines, and skipped out (ok, drove) to our traditional Friday chain Mexican meal with two of my best girlfriends.



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While Groomy worked late (not an unusual occurrence), we mocked the gaudy dresses and the models' terrible posture, all the while gorging ourselves on three courses of inauthentic Central American deliciousness. I should mention here that we told very few people about our wedding plans B.R. (Before Ring). The two girlfriends I was with that night (McMaidersons J and R) were totally stoked, but the "oh, honey no" reactions I got from a few other friends were pretty funny. I guess they thought Groomy wouldn't pony up the jewels and I'd be planning a wedding doomed to never happen. But, we're in the clear on that one!

When it was time to part ways, I hopped into my truck, feeling kind of like the button on my jeans was going to pop off and take out the windshield. I was kind of hoping Groomy wouldn't be home when I got there, because I didn't feel so good. Unfortunately, on my drive home, Groomy called me from there and asked where I was relative to the apartment. I told him, and we continued chatting about wedding stuff. He proceeded to ask for my location two move times in my 20 minute drive. Okay, Stalker...but Groomy just reassured me that he missed me. And I bought it, 'cause he's a sweetie like that.

On my way to the apartment from the car, it occurred to me that he might be planning a proposal, but I dismissed that thought immediately as I remembered that our apartment was a mess, and he would've had to clean. Ha! I don't know why I equated proposal with clean apartment.

When I opened the door, I found the apartment not only clean, but filled with candles and rose petals, with Groomy on one knee, holding a ring box.



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No wonder he wanted to know where I was - the floor is hard and it's really uncomfortable. This is why, after letting out a little yelp and backing out of the apartment momentarily, the first thing I said was "Get up off the floor!" Ever the gentlemen, he refused, and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes, and then tried to hug and kiss him, like newly engaged couples do. But he kept shoving the darn ring box between us. Oh, yeah, I guess I'm supposed to put that on!

And that's how we got here, my little Chanandler and I.*

*While writing this post, I found out that the episode with the proposal is actually called "The One With The Proposal", so be sure to knock off some points for originality there.

Where my girls at?

Picture it: New Jersey, 2006. A young lawyer sits in a dreary office, conversing collegially with a collegaue over the office's instant messaging system. "What are you doing this weekend?" the colleague asks. "Oh, busty as usual." she replies, typing absentmindedly. Umm, NO. That would be "BUSY as usual." Oops. That's an easy way to get called into HR. Thankfully, my error was quickly remedied and the misunderstanding was cleared up.

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What do my terrible typing skills have to do with wedding planning? Well, "the girls" are a very important component of a bride's wedding day ensemble. The dress, gorgeous as it may be, can only sit on the foundation you provide, and the right garments are key. Today, we'll talk about the top half.

I've seen a few blog posts about the various bra options available - strapless, longline strapless, convertible, corset, and the good old strapless-and-spanx combo. I won't bore you with that. However, I haven't seen many bloggers address the most important aspect of this whole underthing debacle- getting the right size for your girls.

As many that have come before me, I meandered into Victoria's Secret in high school, had them measure me and proceeded to wear the same size bra for the next decade, occasionally adjusting up or down slightly in band size to account for weight gain or loss. Epic Fail. Not to badmouth Vickie's, but their measurement techniques aren't exactly on the cutting edge. Recent research (read: my Googling) has indicated that there is no universally accepted bra-measuring technique.

A few weeks ago, a lingerie obsessed friend convinced me to visit a specialty shop for a bra fitting. Apparently, specialty shops will fit you with several types of bras (everyday, special occasion, sports bras) and will even alter your bras and swimsuits. And, who couldn't use a little help with the almighty bathing suit?

While the experience of disrobing in front of a total stranger wasn't exactly what sprung to mind when I agreed to brunch that morning, it was eye-opening. It turns out that I've been wearing a band 2 or 3 sizes too big, and I've been wearing it entirely too high on my back. This is why my straps are always falling down and I can't seem to shake that little pouch of "back fat" under my shoulder blade no matter how much I work out. Imagine that - my bra was making me look fat! Finally, I could blame something other than my poor eating habits! See how it was totally worth letting some random chick take off my bra?

I walked out feeling feminine, confident, and slightly broke. While the bras were not cheap, they weren't much more than the more popular bras peddled by our old friend Vickie. The sticker shock subsided once I remembered that I'd paid about $50 for the stretched out, poorly-sized bra hanging limply behind me during my fitting.

One side effect I didn't anticipate was that the right bra vastly improved my posture. I'm certainly not the first bride with such concerns, and I figured the road to better posture would be paved by my trainer and possibly some yoga classes (I'll be blogging about that, too). I was pleasantly surprised at the effect of having everything on the upper body sitting where it was supposed to be. I am walking taller (an amazing feat for someone my height) and I think I look slimmer overall. Score!

So, fess up. Have you been wearing the same bra size since high school?

Obsessive Practicality

You know that part in Clueless where Cher looks over at Tai in her state of utter fashion and social devastation and does a tiny little jig while squealing "Prooooject!!"? Well, that's how I approach just about everything in life. For example, we're moving into a new apartment next week, and it's already decorated. In my head. With furniture, textiles and decor I purchased in advance and made Groomy lug to our storage unit. Yes, I have a problem.

Sometimes, my obsessiveness is actually an asset. We are way ahead of our Knot timeline in terms of vendors booked, and we've definitely started thinking details ahead of time so that we're not all flustered and panicky the month before.

I read a lot of wedding blogs (shocker, I know!), and many of them stress the importance of communicating the "feel" or "vision" of your wedding to your vendors. I think this is crucial in the early stages, when you are choosing your vendors, so that you can find someone who really gets what you're after, but I think it is even more important when you get further along in your planning. Have you clued your vendors in to how your vision has morphed and the decisions you've made during the planning phases? Sure, you may have told your photographer that you've decided to do a "first look" before the ceremony, but did you let your officiant know that, too? It doesn't seem like something all the vendors would need to know, but taking photos beforehand may make you more relaxed during the ceremony, and may free you up for more of the cocktail hour, which is something your maitre'd may need to know, et cetera. It's kind of a chain reaction.

This is why my obsessive self is putting together kind of a "fact sheet" for all the major vendors. It will be a summary of all the important logistical points:

• Entire day-of timeline, including when other vendors will be setting up/arriving
  
• Close family members names and photos (I plan on pasting them into the word document as an "object")
• Any special situations - mother of the groom isn't speaking to Aunt Wilma because of a crushing canasta victory? You may think these things are silly or embarrassing, but people like your photographer, videographer, band leader, and DJ may need to know before they pair them up for that important photo or "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" duet. similarly, any special needs or physical limitations of guests of family members may be important.

Plus, I'll include information about the way we envision parts of the event - we'd like the dinner hour to be fairly quiet, we predict we'll spend much of the first course doing table visits, we're hoping for an ethereal feel to the ballroom. Remember, you have many vendors working simultaneously, so while you may have remembered to tell the DJ you want a quiet dinner hour, this will be for naught when your videographer decides it's time to loudly announce Testimonial Time in the corner. Not that our wonderful videographer would do this, but you get my idea.

Sadly, this document will not be a replacement for more vendor specific information (obsessive planning doesn't let you off that easily!), so you'll still have to provide the DJ with the do-not-play list (and the please-play, the must-play, and the do-not-play-if-you-value-your-appendages lists), the photographer with any special shots, and the maitre'd with a list of the hors d’oeuvres you want brought to the bridal suite (do this!!!). But it's a great way to round everything up and make sure all your vendors are on the same page, and I'm hoping it will save us a lot of communication headaches.

Inspiration FAIL

"What do you want your wedding to look like?"

If I had a wedding planner, I imagine that is one of the first questions she would ask me. However, because I don't have one, I ask myself. Several times a week, because it's hard to put my finger on it. Right now, I'd love for it to look like this:

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Great! Except that's someone's dresser, not an event space, Genius! These days, there's a lot of that running through my head. I know what I don't want: I don't want our reception hall to look like a "reception hall", I don't want the wedding to look canned or like The Knot threw up all over the room, and I don't want it to look like I climbed on the bandwagon of every trend out there just so I could look like I spent a lot of money or did a lot of projects "just because".

What I'd like is clean and modern, with a touch of vintage and nature. I want the soft glow of candlelight, and the interplay of our colors against the backdrop of nature provided by our reception hall's awesome view:




The problem is that it's all running around in my head, all non-descript and abstract-y. This didn't really bother me before, as the wedding was a distant future event. However, we're rapidly approaching the 7 month mark, and, according to traditional wisdom, that means I should sort of start nailing things down.

So, how did you envision your wedding and how has that changed over time? More importantly, how did you keep it from looking like a dresser?

Playing the Name Game

We're about 7 months away, and while many brides are only starting to consider the name question, I've been down that road and back! What did I decide? I'm going to be Mrs. McGroomerson. "Gee, how, umm...traditional," say the feminists. "What made you decide to give up your name?"

Now, I consider myself very much a feminist, so this post is not at stab at them, or anyone, for that matter. Keeping my name (I hate the phrase "maiden name"), taking Groomy's without qualification, hyphenating, and adding his name to mine were all options from the start, and I believe that you should do whatever works for you. Some people assumed that, because I chose to take my fiance's name, I just blindly followed tradition, without any consideration. Thinking that way is a mistake, and I caution everyone not to make snap judgments about a person's values based on how they choose their name after marriage. My decision was complicated and had nothing to do with tradition.

I love my name. It has a lyrical beauty, in my humble, unbiased opinion. I also love it because I chose it. About 3 years ago, I decided to change my last name to honor the family that raised me - my grandparents. While I was at it, I took my late grandmother's first name as a middle name, as I was not given one at birth. so I went from Bridey McRandom to Bridey Grammy McBriderson. (I promise, if you knew my real name, it would sound much more lyrical!) And I use "Grammy" on everything - email, business cards, publications - everything. I am like Sarah Michelle Gellar with the three names.

As a side note, I thought about changing my first name to McLovin, but two "Mc"s in one name was too much.

As you can see, the typical bridal name change calculus was complicated for me by the significance of my names and my desire to keep my middle name as one for "everyday" use. Certainly, Bridey Grammy McBriderson McGroomerson was too many names, and Bridey Grammy McBriderson-McGroomerson was just too cumbersome. And both had too many "Mc"s, obviously. So why didn't I just tell Groomy to keep his dirty man-name away from my lyrical beauty?

Well, you see, it was really, really important to him that we share a last name. Of course, my initial reply to that was that, if it was so important, he could take McBriderson. This was, of course, delivered with touch of a growl and a swift turn on my heel. I'm nothing if not dramatic. Thing is, it is really important to me that we share a name, too. I grew up with a different last name than my family and it really bothered me. I didn't want that trend to continue into adulthood and I didn't want our children to have a different name. All that could've been accomplished by either (a) Groomy taking my name, (b) us both hyphenating, or (c) me taking McGroomerson. Option (a) didn't sit well with Groomy, despite all my arguments (if you'd like a sample, request it in the comments - I'm damn convincing), and (b) didn't work for me because the hyphenated name is too long to also include my beloved Grammy. So, it was (c), by process of elimination.

It made it easier that I'm not concerned about losing my professional identity, as many brides are. The name combo Bridey Grammy is pretty unusual, so if people were vexed by the last name, they'd probably still "get" that it was me. Also, Groomy and I work in the same specialty, and his actual last name is terribly unique, so people would easily be able to put two and two together. Plus, he's really good at what he does, so associating with him can only help me!

As long as we're being honest, I should admit that the decision wasn't entirely logical. The idea of me taking his name made Groomy really happy. This is a man who makes me happier than I've ever been just by existing, and who goes out of his way to make sure I'm comfortable, entertains my unreasonable demands for far-flung fast food when I'm sick, and swelters in the car just so my nose isn't cold. It makes me happy to make him happy in this way. Plus, I'm proud to become a McGroomerson. They're good people.

What are you doing with your moniker, post-nuptials? Was it an easy decision or a more drawn-out journey?

It's a Love Story...

I recently entered a contest to win free event design services from a local firm. The contest asked for entries telling your love story and what makes you unique as a couple. Apparently, the idea of two bankruptcy attorneys who love to dance the cat around to Taylor Swift songs where all the key lyrics are replaced with the cat's name isn't as compelling and romantic as I thought, because we didn't win. However, it inspired me to tell our story on the blog.



What, doesn't he look like Romeo? [personal photo]

Anyway, the story of how Groomy and I met is pretty mundane: he interviewed me for a job. There were no sparks flying, no googly eyes, and certainly no bow-chicka-wow music in the background. We chatted about work stuff, and I remember thinking he seemed like a nice guy (with a weird name - a weird name that will soon be MY name!).

However, despite the tame nature of our first meeting, I think it was fate that we met when we did. You see, I was set to marry another guy, with whom I had a serviceable, perfectly unremarkable relationship. I accepted it readily, as I never believed in fate or soul mates - I was the classic pragmatist and fancied myself too intellectual for such things. I didn't think I was settling - I thought that life and my relationship was as good as it gets. I was so very very wrong.

After starting that new job (and, relax, Groomy wasn't the only person who had to approve my hiring!), I sat down to chat with one of my new coworkers at a work event...and didn't move from my chair for 6 hours. Long after the group had left and the restaurant was closing, we were still talking...about politics, values, culture, friends, music, literature, and everything else under the sun. The next morning, I woke up, and I knew my life had changed completely and for good.

The story of how we fell in love is quite simple, but the way we fit together continues to amaze me. I never thought I'd meet someone who shared my values and my quirks, down to my love of vintage Simpsons and On the Border chips and salsa. We finish each other's sentences, but instead of words, it's often geeky noises (like Nelson's haha or the sad trombone). We have often remarked that we didn't think it was possible that a person like the other actually existed. I feel like the luckiest person on earth that I've met my true match.

So, when Groomy asked me to marry him (another story entirely), it was more of a collaboration than anything else. As classic type-As, we had already worked out many of the basics and all that was left at that stage was the ring. Many people relish in the theatrics of a big proposal, but ours was private, sweet, and more of a way to wrap up what we had begun together, as a team. When we discussed the possible anti-climatic effect of a proposal after the wedding date was already set, he summed things up perfectly: "How could you ever be surprised, anyway? You've known this was coming since our first date!" Actually, I think I knew even before that...

What led you to your soulmate? Was it a series of twists and turns or something more straightforward?

Less to Love

Every day when I log on to Facebook, the nifty little ad bar on the side tells me that I need to lose weight for my wedding - there's always some ad titled "Bridal Weight Loss" or similar. Gee, thanks. I thought I looked ok in my dress! I feel like there's a lot of pressure to look a certain way on your wedding day, and people have actually asked me if I am on a diet right after I've told them I'm engaged. Charming.

The fact is, I had my eye on losing weight and getting fit for a while pre-proposal. However, I didn't want to be the bride who breaks down after the wedding, shouting about how she hasn't eaten a real meal or a carb in over a year. That's way less attractive than a few extra pounds.

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I'm against becoming the thinnest you've ever been or will ever be just for the wedding. Why? Well, it's torture getting there, so you spend your engagement obsessing over every calorie of cheesy deliciousness every time you want to hit up Taco Bell. That makes me cranky. Also, I've known more than one woman that came back from her honeymoon 10 pounds heavier and feeling lousy and uncomfortable in her clothes because she finally broke down and had a slice of pizza. You should never be so unnaturally thin that relaxing for a week and enjoying yourself makes you immediately put on that kind of weight! It's not kind to your body. And trust me, you looked way better when you were healthy and smiling, instead of sneering and growling because you think the guy at Subway used full-fat mayo on your Veggie Delight.

This is why, starting this past July, I became a card-carrying Weight Watchers member. After losing 15 of the 30 pounds I set out to lose by following a reasonable diet that allowed me to eat chain restaurant Mexican food at least once a week, I joined a gym and started working with a personal trainer. That was almost 3 months ago. Now I'm just 10 pounds away from my goal and feel better than I have in years. I've got, like, biceps, and I think I spy a wee bit of abdominal muscle peeking out from behind all the chips and salsa. Plus, all my clothes are falling off me (sexy).

So, you're thinking, "Great. This hypocrite just told us all how terrible it is to starve ourselves for the wedding, and then starts blathering on about diets, personal trainers, and losing thirty pounds. Umm, okay, Kate Moss, go sit in a corner, eat some celery, and write some Facebook ads."

The important part of my story is this: I wanted to lose thirty pounds because I had ballooned up significantly, and losing 30 pounds would put me comfortably at 10 pounds over my lowest weight. I feel that this is a weight I can maintain, a weight that is healthy, and a weight where I'll look like ME. Not a crazed, wild-eyed, bobble-headed version of myself, cranky because I didn't manage to lose the last 8 pounds before the wedding so I could fit into my middle-school prepubescent cheerleading uniform*, but a beautiful, healthy, 30-year old bride.

So please, ladies, don't let Facebook get to you. It's a liar. It told me that I was Kelly Taylor in the "What 90210 Character are You?" quiz, and we all know I'm Andrea. Suck it, Facebook.

*Disclaimer: I was not a cheerleader, ever, but I'm sure some of y'all were and would've made fun of my uncoordinated 11 year old self.

Enveloped by Envelopes

Details, details, details...the stuff that wedding blogs are made of! Few brides miss these glorious opportunities to turn paper into noteworthy style. I count myself among the detail-obsessed, and perhaps not for the better.

Envelopes. You need 'em to mail things. Insert item. Lick.
Seal. Address. Stamp. Release. Simple, right? Hardly.

After receiving our lovely Save the Dates, I became obsessed with their presentation. You may remember them from my earlier post, but here they are again:



The portion with the date and name information is a magnet that peels off the card. Awesome, huh?

Originally these came in ivory envelopes. Our plan was to run them through our handy-dandy home printer, and throw on some stamps I'd created at zazzle with our monogram. Then, I hit the blogs. With all the creative STDs out there, I started thinking ours were, well...ordinary.

What about wraparound labels?


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They will make our envelopes really stand out! So, I asked the lovely Jessica to make some for us, and they were awesome. I set to assembling them for mailing.

But, something was bugging me. The labels had an ivory background, like the envelopes. The stamp, however, had a white background. D'oh! Ok, so let's nix the stamps. I know, let's use a photo stamp instead! Those are so popular and cute. So, I spent more hours than I care to admit perfectly centering our photo on a zazzle stamp and sending links to Mr. McBriderson. Sometime during that period, I decided that I HAD to have colored envelopes. Why? There is no rhyme or reason, my dears.

So, here we are, photo stamp in hand, brown envelopes delivered speedily to my workplace, and we're ready to pull the trigger. Right? Right?? Ummm, no. Sorry. FAIL.

While sitting on the couch in front of Jersey Shore (don't judge)ready to assemble, I tell Mr. McBriderson that I just can't do it. A look of panic crosses his face. The wedding? No, silly, the stamps. They just made the whole thing look too, I don't know, gimmicky...

Behold (the terrible quality that is my phone camera):




It was just too much. The magnet with the colored envelope with the wraparound label with the photostamp. It's like I'd crammed every Save the Date trend into one. Although, I should've put a photo on the magnet, too, if I really wanted to make that statement true!

So, after careful consideration, we went with a wedding cake stamp. I don't yet have a photo of the finished product as it went out, but it looked good. Classy, even. And thank goodness, because reliving the envelope/stamp debacle as I was writing this was a bit exhausting.

Have you been guilty of over-detailing your wedding?

Can You Paint with All the Colors of the Wind?

Oh, Vanessa Williams, you are lovely on Ugly Betty, but what happened to your singing career? You were my middle school idol...

Ok, this post is not about Vanessa Williams (Sorry, V. Wills!). Someone recently asked me to explain how I chose my wedding colors (purple and brown, with touches of platinum). When I sent off a crazy detailed email, much like the list below, she recommended I start a blog. Well, gee, I've actually got one of them thar bloggy-thingys! I just gave it up because I lost confidence in myself .

Now that I've been inspired to pick blogging back up, let's talk about colors. Early on in my engagement, I got an email from a friend of Mr. McBriderson, congratulating us and asking me what my colors were. She said that this was the one question she was asked most during wedding planning, and I should have a ready answer (that wasn't "blush and bashful", unless those were, indeed, my colors). Thus, I set out to choose colors, with Groomy and a large stack of wedding magazines by my side. Ironically, we would up choosing the colors of our living room decor. Imaginative, I know. BUT, we had a process, I swear, which I am now going to share with you! Ask:

- what color combinations make you "swoon?" For me, in the beginning, I loved the way gray/platinum looked with magenta. Specifically, gray dresses with magenta shoes. Unfortunately, the "vibe" of our venue wound up being more nature-oriented and less art-deco, plus this would've required either dyables or some fierce kate spades for the bridesmaids. I prefer to let them pick their own shoes in a specific color family.




- what kind of "mood" are you looking to evoke? For a natural aura, green and brown are great. Grey and magenta are modern, black and white can be oh-so-glam. Some brides love art-deco, some love vintage, etc. You should look for a look that speaks to your personality.

- do the colors you like translate into a dress you could ask another human being to wear? This is a no-brainer. If you wouldn't wear it, please don't make someone else!

- will you be able to get flowers in any of your chosen colors in the month of your wedding? And, do you actually like those flowers? Example - cala lillies come in an awesome dark purple in my season, but me no likey one bit. I needed to make sure there were alternatives.

- do these colors clash with any of the static features of the venue - walls, carpet, curtains? I dismissed a great venue because the walls were red - I would've been locked into a small palette, and one that didn't appeal to me. Likewise, black and white wouldn't work in my actual venue - the carpets are tan and green. That's why brown is my dark base color instead of black, and why I dismissed a pink and black color scheme (other than Groomy's vehement protests).

- matching - is the color you like hard to match or hard to find? I had a hard time finding a BM dress line that came in a nice purple, believe it or not. Likewise, I am using several shades of purple and lavender, so that not everything needs to match exactly. Otherwise, you can drive yourself crazy.

- finally, pick a metallic - preferably gold or silver, based on what's already in the venue and what goes with your colors. You will have to pick one at one time or another - shoes, jewels, chargers, silver, picture frames for table #s, placecard holders, guest book pens, etc. It always seems to come up, and having a cohesive look with the details will contribute a lot to the overall look of the event.

A good way to find out what colors indeed may make you swoon is to check out the blogs at www.weddingbee.com, www.stylemepretty.com, and www.oncewed.com