Get Me To The Church On Time

I'll use any excuse for some Bowie, huh? *

Here's the thing: I am always late. Case in point: I've been meaning to write this particular blog post for about a week. See?

Also, in the past two years, I have moved twice. The first time, I cut my commute down from 1.5 hours to 45 minutes. the second time, it went down to 20 minutes. Wouldn't you know, I still get to work at about the same (not early) time?

Groomy and I, as a unit, are even later than either of us on our own. Ask our friends. We're been known to be an hour late for things. (An hour is a much more reasonable period of time than our usual lateness, so let's just pretend an hour is as late as we get. Because it's been ridiculous at times.) This is one reason why I'm glad we'll be separated until the ceremony on the wedding day. In theory, it'll cut down on the lateness factor.

It's an understatement to say I'm worried about being late for my own wedding - I know that it's one event that can't start without me! While some people may think this makes it ok to be late, I think it makes it even more unacceptably rude. So, I've already started on timelines for the big day in an effort to ensure everyone's where they need to be on time and that we have a significant time cushion for the inevitable mishap.

Thankfully for me, the wedding industry has made a cute little must-have template. Because a word document is just daft, my dear:


I have no idea how to actually make something like this happen (I think it involves Power Point), but I'm going to shop for some cardstock anyway!

*For the record, there's no church involved in our wedding. What can I say? We're heathens. It fits our bad-ass lawyerly image.

Where we're NOT going

Ok, so we talked about the requirements: no shots, no long flights, no repeat vacations, nothing in the hurricane belt. Where did this leave us? Pretty much, Colonial Williamsburg.



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I'll give a shout out to my boy Paul Revere (geographically inaccurate, but a a fun reference), but say that this was not what I had in mind. I was thinking sun, sand, romance, and something with more of a once-in-a-lifetime feel.

This led us to Costa Rica. I was initially drawn to Costa Rica because of the rain forest. One of my dreams has always been to go on safari (but...shots...ahhh!) and the idea of seeing rain forest wildlife was almost as good. The photos of various Costa Rican resorts confirmed that los animales were plentiful.



Hola! [Costa Rican Coati]

Don't you want to squeeze his little face? And the beaches were nothing to sneeze at, either.


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I talked to friends who honeymooned there, researched hotels and flights, and I thought we were set. This was gonna rock! However, I neglected to check the weather. Oops. September/October is part of the "rainy season" in Costa Rica. This was literally the last piece of information I uncovered. Not because it was hidden, but because I tend to get ahead of myself. While it's not fatal to a vacation, I didn't want to take the chance that our planned tours and daytrips would fall prey to the rain. Plus, what I read indicated that Costa Rica's roads are not all well-paved and that they can be very hard to travel in a heavy rain. I didn't want to chance it.

However, I did learn a few things from this experience: (1) read Fodor's or a similar travel site for the basics before delving deep into a certain destination, and (2) Costa Rica will make an excellent future vacation destination.

I promise I'll tell you all about where we decided to go in the next entry. When we finally made the decision, it was as much excitement as relief. We were so tired of the constant up and down of finding a place, thinking it was great, then finding a fatal flaw. Or worse, throwing around the idea of destinations that just didn't seem exciting, just to be done.

I think there's a certain pressure to make your honeymoon a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and, while that can be great, it makes the planning seem enormous. Also, I feel like everyone asks where you're going, and has an opinion. (Ok, that can be said for almost everything, wedding-related or not.) That can add a certain pressure too. Add the cost factor in, and it can get pretty overwhelming - here you are shelling out for a wedding, and, on top of that, you've got pressure to plan and pay for a week-long vacation on top of it, all in one relatively short period of time.

This is why a lot of couples plan a mini-moon and then a honeymoon for later. In our case, it would have solved the rainy season problem for Costa Rica and the hurricane season problem for the Caribbean. I think it's a great idea in general, but it didn't work for us, unfortunately.

Did you feel a pressure to make your honeymoon unique and/or extravagant?

Oh yeah, one more thing

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I'm afraid to fly. D'oh! I know, I know, the theme of this blog is becoming "how did she get anyone to agree to marry her?" I should call it "The Highly Improbable Bride" instead.

Can I get on a plane? Yes. Will I get on a plane? Sure! Will I freak out the moment we hit some rough air? You betcha! On Groomy's and my first vacation together, we were in the middle of our 4 hour flight when the plane hit some turbulence. Groomy was absorbed in his ipod, and was really shocked when he glanced over randomly and saw this:

it was awful, but look how cute my dress was
complete with me repeating the phrase "we're gonna die" over and over.

Thankfully, it was just a few bumps and no one was dying from a plane crash that day. But, as you can see, I have a wee small issue with panic. So the idea of taking a 14 hour flight to go somewhere exotic was less than appealing. Between that, the shots, and hurricane season, it looked as if our dream vacation was going to become a trip to Denny's.

Do you have any fears that altered your travel plans?

Do I look like a freaking pin cushion to you?

And, so, with that phrase, we enter the honeymoon planning phase of our adventure. Many couples are seeking exotic adventures, relaxing beaches, or total seclusion. Me? I was looking for a place where I wouldn't need to get any vaccinations before departure. Let's just say my fear of needles rivals my love of Taco Bell. Both are forces with which to be reckoned.



We also didn't want to go to a place either had already been, especially with, ahem...others. Luckily, Groomy and I are only moderately well-traveled. Finally, because our wedding is in September, there's the dreaded hurricane season with which to contend. Because I didn't want to end up like this, as romantic as some people think it is:

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So, where did we decide to go? You'll have to stay tuned to find out...

Perfect Attendance

Awwww...(source)

Thankfully, I've never had a birthday party where no one showed up. I was a bossy child, so perhaps my grandparents paid off some of the neighborhood kids to come, though - who knows? Anyway, I have this fear. I fear no one will come to our wedding.

I say this in a whisper, because it sounds kind of crazy. Of course people will come! I don't think we'll be standing all alone at the wedding with our officiant and an ocean of empty tables. That's irrational. But still, I worry. I worry when people say, in response to our Save the Dates, that they're going to be on vacation during the week of our wedding, and I worry when people say they can't come to our engagement party. But I mostly worry because I don't have much family (read: one person). I think that no one is obligated to attend or can't imagine not going, the way that your Aunt Edna would drop her Saturday date at the senior center because she's been waiting to see you married for 30 years. I don't think anyone feels that way about me. Feel free to send me your crazy Aunt Edna if she's getting bothersome!

Thankfully, Groomy comes from a large family who is totally excited about our wedding, so there will be people there. This I know for sure. We just won't do that bride's side/groom's side seating thing. That could get sticky.

Does an unconventional family situation leave you slightly anxious about the attendance at your event?

All the Pringle Haters

What the hell? Who hates Pringles so much they'd write a blog post about it?

Actually, I love Pringles. Those unnaturally uniform food products have inspired many an afternoon binge. I mean, snack. However, the title refers to this brilliant article I read recently about misheard song lyrics. Highly recommended. It made me snarf my Diet Pepsi.

Ok, so how many snack foods and beverages can I reference in a post about bouquet tosses? You'll have to wait and see.



The long and short of it is, we aren't having a bouquet toss. Why not? What about tradition? What about all the single ladies?

At 30, most of my girlfriends are already married, so the bouquet toss would necessitate calling all of 4 women onto the floor. I don't know about you, but if I were one of those 4, I'd be hella uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I like a social hookup as much as anyone (I mean, I used to...ha), but there are more subtle ways to let the bartender know you're traveling solo than having the DJ announce it two hours into the party while you saunter out into the middle of the floor for a well-lit 360 degree viewing. This isn't an auction.

Most of the ladies in my life were grateful for the omission of the fabled toss, save for Bridesmaiderson J, who was a little disappointed. I think J's boyfriend might be relieved, though...

What traditions do you plan to eschew on your big day, and which do you hold dear?